Transcript
The hard-edged captain of a mercenary army is betrayed by her employer, a powerful duke. Recruiting a ragtag group of killers and miscreants, she goes on a revenge spree of murder and mayhem, waging a personal war against the aristocracy and wreaking havoc upon herself and those she’s hired. Think Kill Bill meets Game Of Thrones directed by early Guy Ritchie.
A twelve year old orphan boy in 12th century Korea dreams of becoming a potter but the caste system he lives in precludes him from even learning the trade, much less having a shot at becoming a real artist. However, through clever thinking and honest ambition, young Tree-Ear works his way into an apprenticeship while learning the value of community, self-discipline, family and the true value art holds for humanity.
Those two logline sorta things are for two books I’ve tried to option in the past. I think the first would make a freakin fantastic TV mini-series and the latter a wonderful movie for kids and their parents. Let’s adjourn to the library and talk book recommendations.
Greetings good humans and welcome to Tabletop Alchemy, where sometimes we talk about books Hollywood needs to adapt. And we thank our patrons for their glorious patronization.
So, we’ve all got favorite books we think would be great to see on the big screen. I guess “big screen” is an outdated colloquialism since most of us watch stuff in our living rooms or maybe, God forbid, on our tablets.
And if you tell me you watch movies on your phone, you’re fired.
I jest, I jest.
Today I wanna share a couple of my favorite books that I think would make such great cinematic adaptations that I’ve actually tried to option them. One of them is a rated-R, HBO-style, gritty, dark and violent fantasy action thriller and one is a PG-rated, family-friendly children’s story with one of the best themes I’ve ever come across.
First, what’s an option? The path of a book or comic book or other published material, fan fiction, et cetera, to becoming a movie or tv show starts with an option. An option is basically leasing, for a limited time, the right to buy the production or filming rights to an IP. New York Times best sellers are almost always automatically optioned prior to their release dates. Movie studios get sent galleys which they can read early and buy an option on. A galley is like a proof copy of a book before it goes into mass printing. So a person or company that has purchased an option has whatever the time frame is that’s stated in the option contract to decide if they want to actually buy the full rights to the IP. And during the time that they hold the option, no one else can buy the filming rights so they’re essentially buying a window of non-compete time in which to make a decision. If they decide they wanna make the movie, for example, then they have to purchase the full production rights to the book, or IP or whatever. Even that contract will probably have a time limit but it’s typically a multi-year window at the very least, where an option typically lasts six to twelve months. When an option on a book lapses, another party can try to buy that option, or the original purchaser can negotiate paying for an extension.
There’s probably a lot more intricate law to all this but that’s the basics. And none of this really has anything to do with anything here, this is basically just a book recommendation video. But I was granted a six month option on Linda Sue Park’s novel A Single Shard around 20 years ago. I wanted to adapt the book into a screenplay but I squandered that opportunity because … well, because I was still me 20 years ago. Lazy and addicted to video games. I’m a work in progress, remember?
So many things to not be proud of in a person’s life, it’s a wonder we get anything done at all floating around in this psychic morass of self-loathing, huh?
That uh … is that just me? Might just be me. Sorry. Moving on.
A Single Shard. That’s the cover right there. It’s a wonderful book, a truly great story. It would seriously make a great flick, whether live action or animated. CG or anime style, even. And that’s the main attribute shared by both these books, in my opinion they would adapt to visual storytelling really well. Not every story is universally adaptable that way.
So, A Single Shard is about Tree-Ear, a boy who’s grown up an orphan and lives under a bridge with a crippled elderly guy named Crane-man. The story takes place during the 1100s in Korea, so there’s this definite medieval caste system in the society and just getting enough food to survive on a daily basis is the main goal for our young protagonist, who is smart and who’s been mostly raised by the kind-hearted Crane-man.
So you’ve got this orphan kid who steals food and other useful items from the village trash pits and one unique aspect to this village is that many of the residents are potters. Located near a clay quarry, these master clay sculptors and artisans work with the celadon glazing technique. Now this is all historically accurate.
So Tree-Ear not only wants to survive but he’s very impressed with work of the gruff old artisan Min. The kid accidentally breaks one of Min’s works of art but in a show of strong moral character – and clever survival instincts – Tree-Ear basically demands to work off his debt. For no pay of course. But he does know that custom will require Min to at least provide lunch each day, half of which Tree-Ear shares with Crane-man under the bridge. And Tree-Ear dreams of learning how to sculpt clay and become an artisan himself, despite knowing that the social structures basically deny orphans any sort of path to apprenticeship.
The author has done such a cool job of incorporating concepts of honesty, honor, morals and being part of a community in her book. There’s even a whole bit that alludes to the morals regarding intellectual property and insider trading. It might be a little oblique, but to me, it’s right there.
But the overall theme that I love about this story, and it’s not one that I see a lot of comments on, is the theme regarding the question: is art a valuable part of society? I’ve always felt that art is equal to any other facet of life. I mean, if you had to live a live bereft of any kind of art … what would be the point of surviving each day?
And A Single Shard illustrates this theme poignantly without like spelling it out in exposition. So you’ve got that in addition to all the other hallmarks of classic, great coming of age stories – themes of personal responsibility, self-discipline, the nature of friendship and family – and of course it’s got interpersonal drama, adventure, high stakes, meaningful human decision-making and choices, and it’s all beautifully and simply written in a 150 page Newberry award-winning young adult slash children’s novel that you could read yourself in a day or two or read it over several nights of bedtime story sessions with your kiddos.
Ms. Park’s writing is very clear and straight forward but still evocative. She writes character traits and personality really well with an economy of words. And don’t let marketing execs get in your head, some of my favorite books are written “for young adults or children”. But my next recommendation, it ain’t for kids.
Best Served Cold by Joe Abercrombie is a gritty, dark low fantasy revenge story that’s as brutal, eclectic and melodramatic as it’s characters. And I’m using melodramatic in the best way, not as a slight. Again, I’m not getting into any spoilers, just a general overview. A lot of you might have already read this book or at least something by Mr. Abercrombie. If you have, let me know which one of his books is your favorite. This guy is a fantastic writer, he’s got a particular style and really he’s probably best known for his characterizations. I think booktubers classify him as “grim dark” fantasy, and that’s probably appropriate but his stuff isn’t really like, say, the whole Games Workshop Black Library stuff. I think his stories and characters are kinda like a cross between Tarantino and George RR Martin.
All of his books take place in the same world and he typically writes in trilogies. But he’s got a handful of stand-alone books, and even though characters definitely cross-populate all the books, the stand alone novels are indeed able to be read on their own.
I thoroughly enjoy and recommend all of his stuff but my favorite is this gem right here. It’s an ensemble story, so it’s like a small team or group is the main protagonist, it’s definitely got the flavor of “the heist movie” sort of thing, and heists are one of my favorite sub-genres.
You’ve got Monza Murcatto, the betrayed and left-for-dead mercenary captain. She’s stitched back together – ACK! No Spoilers! Ok. She’s a stubborn, intelligent, notorious tactician who suffers massive physical and emotional damage within the first few pages, and she vows revenge on every person in the room where she was betrayed.
She recruits a team of disparate killers, including the reluctant barbarian warrior Caul Shivers, who’s got a voice like grinding rocks; the effete poisoner Morveer and his cheerful little blonde sociopath assistant Day; the drunken and depraved con man Nicomo Costa; the ex-inquisitor Practical Shylo Vitari; and the decidedly unfriendly Friendly, an autistic mathematical genius who’s built like a tank and prefers cleavers to swords.
Together, they go down Murcatto’s list, leaving a trail of corpses and mayhem far beyond what they ever intend. And of course the stakes rise with each successive target, no one gets through this tale unscathed and every character is more interesting than the last.
Oh, let’s not forget Cas Shenkt. Upon eventually learning he’s being hunted, the Duke unleashes his own hunter on the party’s trail. And Shenkt is one of the coolest and most formidable assassins I’ve ever read about. And he represents what might be the only bit of magic we see in this particular book … and oh, what a fucked up bit of magic it is too.
Gah, there’s so many scenes and character details I wanna blather about but this no spoiler limiter is just a pain in the ass. For those of you who’ve read this book, let’s see if I can use a bit of code to tell you what my absolute favorite scene is in the book, which made me laugh and laugh like a demented child. I mean, that’s what some art and entertainment is for, right, exercising those decidedly unsavory parts of our shadow selves, right? Right?! Yeah. Of course.
Anyway, here’s the code for the scene I couldn’t stop laughing at.
If you get it, you get it. For the rest of you, enjoy the discovery!
As I mentioned, I’m a huge fan of the heist genre. Probably ever since I saw Disney’s Robin Hood when I was like six or something, and Best Served Cold is full of, well, they’re not heists, they’re assassination plots, but the heist formula and flavor is all there. The planning, the stress about what team member runs the highest risk of fouling things up, the nerve-wracking execution, the plans going wrong, all the good stuff that make heists super fun and interesting. At least to me. And it’s this inherent episodic nature of the plot that makes this book a prime candidate for a badass series adaptation, maybe a good 6 to 9 episodes of finite, granted very big budget, visual storytelling.
So, if you’re looking for something new to read, those are two recommendations. I’ve got plenty more of course and I’m sure you do too, but you know, one video at a time.
So, go read something. And lemme know what your favorite book is, my queue needs to grow.
See ya!